So, now we fry the earthworm in the pan. - Okey dokey.
Is it poisinous? - Try licking on its teeth and you know.
So, now its soft enough.
Come on, make a striptease.
Man, this thing is big. - Almost as yours, but not as thin.
The white vixens will get the bowels. These are a bit blunt.
You think they will get sharper then? - Sure, but if the boss catches you youre fish-fodder.
Ahh, hes in his bunk dreaming.
Those pirate-pigs. Nothing to eat for two days.
Those water buffalo will start to cram us.
If they want to sell us we have to look good.
The chinese lust after white vixens, especially virgins.
But you are only white, Brenda.
Do you really think theyll sell us. I don'tt want to become a slave.
Stop whining. That doesnt make it any better.
We have to come up with something. I don't want to be the tangerin for some fat mandarin.
I don't care if fat or not. He has to be fast on the mattress.
If he doesnt deliver, I'll rip his throng.
Where did you fish this shit out? It tastes like grandpa under his left testicle.
Shut up, or you get a refill.
Couldnt you at least flavor this snakemeal?
I did it like grandmothers cook-book. - Are you even able to read?
Is this a requirement?
Who was it?
Who touched the girls? - I wasnt in there. - As was I, really.
Liars!
Listen up, shitfaces. If anyone else wipes his fingers on the girls...
he can go home by foot. Got it?
The girls are meant for boss Tiao.
Anyone who objects can leave the boat right now.
Sandbank ahead. - Strike the sails. Strike the sails
Drop anchor. - Drop anchor.
Hurry, out into the sun so you get some tan.
Hurry. - Come on. - Lets go
Next. - Hurry, hurry. - Asshole.
Go in the dinghy. - Hurry.
Karate, kisses, blonde cats
Quiet!
subs by Dia: daedia@ish. de
Be quiet!
Hey. Go and hide. Fast. The pirates are coming!
starring:
Written by:
Camera:
Produced by: Head-producer:
Directed by:
German dub:
Lets go.
Follow me.
Away with the spinach.
Lets party. Its a bank holiday, itss mothers day in africa.
Take off your black clothes. This is no bereavement.
Hey, wheres your boss. - In the cellar, doing his sports badge.
Come on, don't play hard to get. - Please don'tt Jo-Lau.
Ju-lau the captains here. He brought new girls. Only whites.
Paws of! You stink!
I would love to do her. - Wash your hands first!
Come on, strip. The clothes will be laundried.
Hey Captain. Did you de-louse them?
Ju-lau!
Let off! The girls don't concern you!
Captain, bring the girls upstairs.
Outsch, if you step on my feet again I will kick back.
Off to the meat inspection.
Faster! You shall go faster. You belong to me.
Let me go you dirty bastard. - Don't meddle in my afairs!
Bring the girls to the boss immedeately.
Go inside. Its heated.
Get in line and shut up!
Look closely you can learn something here.
This sex postion was out of style even in old egypt. - Don't dither, you'll all get a piece.
Hey boss, I have some fresh meat. Without trichines, guaranteed.
Piss off.
I wanna see what I buy. Strip!
Down with the rags.
You never saw something unpacked, hmm?
Hey boss. I never brought you such tight girls before. I want something extra for this.
So, you think thats funny? - Yes, i want it doubled.
Seems you have a speech defect. Gimme your tongue so I can cut it.
No boss! - Hell only get half! Out!
You monster!
Kome-Me? - Yes! - Ying-poh should check if theyre still virgins.
But before theyll get washed. Theyrre reeking.
Just keep quiet childs. Well play along them for the time being.
A bath isnt hazardous. Scrub well grandma Imm not made of marzipan.
Thats good.
Not only under the arm, grandma.
What will happen if they discover we two arent virgins anymore?
Perhaps theyll sell us to a nursery home.
And what about us others. Are they going to rape us?
Nonsense. I guarantee were out of here before they poke you.
I gonna service the big boss until he couldnt get it up anymore.
Tell me your names. - My name is Karen, this is my sister Donna.
Brenda... Ann... and this is Celia. - My name is Kome-Me.
Oh, thats a nice name and youre also nice. - Thanks, we have to go now. Come.
Legs apart. Don't be shy. Okay, fold them again.
What is she doing? - You have three guesses.
Shes checking if shess still sealed.
You can see this? - Just step on a mirror.
Good. Stand up. Ahh, Kome-Me, where did you caught these white birds?
Ying-poh, you shall check the girls. - Yes, I know.
Theyre looking really fresh. Strip and lay down.
You... right near her.
Where are the white girls? - Over there.
I need a ladder for you.
Take it off. - No!
Get lost. Ill unpack her myself.
Come with me. - No, let my sister...
Be quiet. Stay here. Nothing will happen to her.
Brother... - Ssst.
Why where you gone for so long? - I lived on an island the last two years.
I developed a new fighting style. Now I can fight the gang.
I cant stand it anymore. - Stop crying. I gonna get you out.
Hands away or will you taste my thong?
Let me go.
What nice apples.
I wanna cross the Gobi-desert on you.
Now you gonna be real nice to me.
Whos that? - One of the white girls he bought.
Ju-Lau is gonna rape her.
Stop moaning, you gonna like it also.
Stop!
Ko-pau what are you doing here?
Now I gonna turn of your gas and hang you on the chinese wall.
Get him! He cant get lost.
Kill him!
I wanna see him bleed.
Damned dog!
Its all your fault. You werent fast enough.
Who... let... him... into... my... house? You... damned... sleepyheads.
And now a word for you. Listen closely.
Did you get it, you idiot?
You all are of no use.
For what do I pay you? Youre unable to fight a single man.
I gonna cut your heads bald, so your hair wont block your sight anymore.
Calm down and don't play the boogeyman.
Kome-Me have the girls been checked? - Yes aunt fu. The two older ones arent virgins.
You pigs. Jo-Lau, whos done this? - I dindtt touch them. Ask Jin-pau...
nobody of us ever got to them.
What did Jin-pau say?
She thinks both of them arent virgins since a long time.
Just keep in mind. Who touches them dies!
Its good for your skin.
Shes just picking your facial- and body-hair.
If you just pick one of my hairs I gonna shave you with a rusty scythe.
Hey Fang. These are big things, come over here.
Be quiet.
Man, Im feeling like a christmas tree stand in these old chinese rags.
Hey Ann, look to the door.
Weve been watched. Sneak over there.
Ready! - Go!
I always thought the chinese only eat rotten eggs.
Stop!
You, come here.
Me? - Yes!
I wont bite!
Follow me!
Karen...
This woman is a stonecold devil.
Look at me. Whats your name girl? - Karen!
Theres nothing to fear. Look out!
I like you. If you follow my orders you can have a great life here.
Understand?
Dirty whore!
You prefer men.
But nobody will have you!
If you wont obey my rules, I cut you till you resemble a scarecrow.
No!
Next time I will cut deeper.
Take away your hands!
Jo-fu Im here to fetch the girl.
Ju-lau wants to see her!
Who told him shes here? - Nobody, he only ordered me to fetch her.
If you lie to me... - No, he don't know shess here.
I only came to warn you, before he starts searching for her.
You know what would happen then...
Kame-me!
Come here.
Don't touch me!
Thank you Kome-Me. - How did the pirates capture you?
We were on our way to Australia. The british government hired us.
They arent enough woman there. - And your parents?
They are dead.
The others also are orphans. Thats why we emigratet.
On our way the pirates seized our ship.
They brought us here and sold us to your people. - Those bandits arent my people.
So, I don't understand why you are here.
Two years ago my brother fled the gang.
So they took me. I could have flown if I only wanted, but...
I can help Ko-pau better from the inside.
He swore revenge to the gang.
Why doesnt the gouvenour interfere?
His officials are friendly with Ju-lau. They get hush-money from him.
And the townsfolk are cowards. They are only a few on our side...
and fight with us. Some Karate-fighters and Kung Fu-experts. It wont be long...
till the fight starts. - Do you know Kung Fu?
Yes, my father was a teacher in the arts.
If you teach us we could fight at your side.
You have to be patient. As long as youre here I will protect you.
Nobody will touch you, because they fear the boss.
He kills everyone not obeying his orders. Be patient, Karen!
And what if they sell us? - This will take some time...
my brother will free you before this happens.
Whos there?
Its me, Kome-Me.
Come!
The gang got even more mean and ruthless. We have to act fast.
But we are hopelesly inferior to them.
No, our friends are ready. They are waiting for the signal.
Only Ju-lau and boss Tao are worthy adversarys.
Against the others I would win hands down.
But we have to save the girls also. Three of them are almost kids.
On the roof!
Good, but we have to wait for the right time.
Send me a message if everythings ready.
Theres someone on the roof.
Right above you.
Slowly.
Quiet!
Now.
Ko-pau? - Do you know him?
Its one of boss Taoss man. - Hmmh. Seems like they observe you.
Now go back. Send me a message if you need help.
But how?
Use the dove.
Here. Take her.
- Ok, if she comes back with the red band on her foot I need your help.
Drop your junk elsewhere. - Get him!
Whats in there? - Its blood. - Be careful.
Feng and Wang. Carry them inside.
This bastard. I will skin him alive.
Ju-lau! - Yes. - Get them here. I gonna part their hair with the sword.
Come!
Kao-fo, where are the white girls and Kome-Me?
Shes giving them dancing lessions.
Boss Tao, were in our dacing lessions. - Good, really good.
Don't let me interupt you. Go on.
One, two, three!
Hey, come here! Im short-sighted.
Youre a nice grab and have a full blouse.
Is all this for real?
Why so shameful. Do you want to be an old virgin?
Kome-Me. - Yes. - Bring them to Jin-po.
She should instruct them in mattress karate.
Or do you know a better sport? - No, boss.
You old dirty scumbag. Don't show of you impotent pfrrrzzzz!
Kome-Me, I stepped on this sharp thing and it really hurts.
Well continue tomorrow. You can leave.
This is an olive stone. You know olives at your place?
Yes, I even ate some. - How much longer will you talk about it?
You can use this stones as a weapon. You can shot them.
Shot them? But how?
I gonna show you.
Give me an olive.
Here. - Thanks!
What is she doing? - Shes chewing the olive.
Did you see this?
Kome-Me, I want to do this too. You have to teach me this.
Ok, you know youre in grave danger. You have to learn to defend yourselves.
But its not easy. You also need kungfu training.
We gonna hit them to a pulp. - But you have to be careful so they wont discover us.
Lets start with some breathing routines.
Breathing right is most important.
Stop! Someones coming.
Clean up, fast!
Kome-Me, the boss want to see you. And you get ready to position hour.
Come with me.
Now youll learn how chinese men make love.
Just lay down and follow the moves of this girl.
First we train the chinese knippers. Let your left leg circle.
Ta-au get your fat ass up.
Now turn around. Open and close...
Now sit up. Turn your faces to me.
Just magine sitting in front of your lover...
stroking his... well, you know.
Up and down...
If all the chinese fuck this way, I don't get hw they reached 600 millions.
Wait, I gonna help you. You lazy bitch.
Sit up!
And now the paradise-swing. Lay on your stomach...
and cradle your man to the sweetest dreams.
Shouldnt we train with them? - They need some practical advise.
You don't belong here. Get lost.
You have to obey, you horny retards.
Blow on this!
Get out you dirty pigs!
You don't respect my age, you pig?
Don't be so brutal. Hey you.
I? - Yes, come here. Hmmmhh.
Come, smell this.
Now up with your ass!
Throw some to me.
Now the sideway tigh-break.
Hey, don't sleep now. Imm not yet ready.
Hes gone. - Our condolences.
Yes, you really made progress. But nobody should know about this.
We have to kill them. - But why. Theyre done for now.
Please don't! - But I have to!
Who did this?
They tried to deflower Donna. I couldnt stop them any other way.
Yen-Po, is this the truth? - Yes, it was this way.
I tried to drive them away, but they wouldnt listen.
They even hit me. Look here.
Kome-Me, they deserved a penalty, but youve gone to far.
Next time you let me do the punishment.
You wont make my soldiers horny anymore.
Down into the cellar.
If you make my people crazy like this, you will bring a big margin...
...even if youre no virgins anymore. I will ride you soft myself.
Listen Juan-Tau. This wont bring you far.
Why not? - Just look at them. They don't have anything to offer.
They will just lay like a board with a knothole on your matress.
I could offer your more than this. - Good suggestion. You got nice apples.
If you werent such a long cow. But ok, if we take one of the blondes also.
This ones a treat, I like your mouse-teeth.
Ju-Lau, those two belong to you. - Ohh, thank you!
You can do whatever you want with them, but don't drill them.
I just going to tickle them a bit.
Go, take your clothes of. We play without them.
I gonna freeze that way.
Don't fear kid, I wontt let him touch you.
And if he wants to bed me? - Be serious, he wont have anything left after me.
But Im scared. - Shut up!
You... this ways right.
If I ever get free, I will scratch your ugly face.
So I will have to cut your nails now.
Hargh, just dither, I want to see your balls wiggle.
They really jump out of your shirts.
You horrid devil.
My teeth are dripping at this view.
When I see your titties shiver, my trousers starts to dither.
You pig!
I want to Julia. Open up.
Yes, Kome-Me.
Calm down! - Kome-Me. wheres my sister?
Don't worry about her. She'll be allright.
Stop crying. Everythings ok.
What have they done to you? - He tried to "chinese wall" me...
...but fell from the ladder in round 2. - I want to get out!
Stop whining. Be quiet. Youve got to keep yourself togeher.
You shouldnt give up now. We have to train hard to upgrade your kung-fu.
You gonna be sold soon. This day we will free ourselves.
But you told us it would take a long time to learn.
Thats true. So each of you will only learn one lesson.
Nonsense. Ive got my own tricks to get along with those guys.
Can you show it to us?
Who knocked? - I did!
So, what you think of this steamhammer? He wont ask any dumb questions anymore.
Very good. Keep an eye at the door. Lets begin the training.
Five nice white girls wait for their new master.
Are virgins among them. - This is our gurantee.
Lets hope theyre not just white but good-looking.
Just look. They are all real beautys.
We should go along for some time.
This is Anna, 18 years, british and a virgin.
The starting bid is 150 silver.
180- 250- 300
350- 400 and a goat. - Last bid 400 and a goat. Anything more?
Sold for 400 and a goat.
Donna, 16 years, virgin.
Youre fired.
Her price is at least 300 silver. - Shes worth it!
I want her. 320.
A dozen of diamonds and emeralds. Is this enough?
Of course. Shes yours.
Silvya, scotish, 18 years and virgin.
Ahh, she doesnt look greedy.
She makes me a big shagger.
Minimum bid is 200 silver. - 220- 230- 240
250- 280- 300
400-500-600
700-800-900-1000
11-12-13-14
I... I... I.. pay 2000!
Sold!
Shes beautyful. - But stubborn like a mule.
Onto the dais. Dance. - Don't make such a air with your fan.
I gotta have her.
I wont dance you goat.
Is this really needed? The older they got the more horny they are.
You will be my favourite woman.
Okay Fatso. But don't even think about cheating on me. Imm jealous!
I give you 2000. - Sold!
Youre a cute little guy. I'll always look up to you!
Come Fatso, lets become thin air.
Karin from London, 20 years old.
Minimum 250 tael silver.
300- 400- 500
700 from me.
Kome-Me Im in love with you such a long time. Kiss me!
No, not here. - Lets go up to my room.
Don't let us loose any time. Lets go.
But somewhere else, into the cellar. Nobody bothers us there.
The cellar. You really mean it? - Yes!
Kome-Me, please tell me your favourite position.
Don't you have one? So I will choose one, ok? Ohh, No 37...
Please, don't do this. Look into your book.
I don't like it when youre watching.
Ahh, left leg over right shoulder.
Kome-Me are you ready? Come to me, please.
Now I know how to do it.
Come on, or I forget it again.
Kome-Me where are you?
Guards, get me out of here!
Look out, you. Get out of my way.
You should save your strength for something better.
Lets go inside. You want your room or mine?
Not in the house. Ti-ao could find us. - Where else?
Over there on the patio. - Ok, good. lets go.
Quick. We don't have much time.
Take of your clothes. Lay down.
Now we can have real fun.
Piss off!
Don't be so rough.
Now I got you.
I don't paid so much for you for playing such games.
Kome-Me, please help me. Don't leave me.
Tell her to let me go.
The others have been brought away in palanquins.
I hope we can still find them. - I know where the buyers live.
Karin, come here!
This way!
Run!
We have to hurry.
Coterie! No admittance.
Hit him!
Trot faster. I would gain more speed on foot.
The target is always the small ones!
No noise or youre dead.
Ohh, its you. Never enter a palanquin. I got sea-sick
The fat pig deserves punishment.
Lets follow them.
Hey, look out for those chuckholes.
Stop, stop - Im getting dizzy. Who allowed you tocarry me around?
Stop right now. Heres a speed-limit. Stop.
Ah, you want to get me wet. - Do you need a piece of soap?
Look out for the crocodiles. - Get me out, its so cold here.
I... I... just want to stroke you. - I don't like your ghastly teeth.
You will get used to them.
Just be nice.
Shh... Shit.
Something fell down.
I go up and get it.
See you.
Crap, every time I go to bed you fall.
Wait, I gonna get you.
Here it is!
Celia... Celia
There she is. - Hey Celia, come here.
Has he gone naughty yet?
Hide here and wait for me.
One things sure...
I will make her happy.
So sweetheart, now hes standing.
Who put the chamber pot here?
Is the bride ready? - I will show you whos the master in the bedroom.
Alone finally. I cant believe youre all mine.
Oh, youre as nice as you are long. Kissi kissi on the nose.
You know the saying: Big feet equals big shoes
Now a litttle bit of sex-massage. Youre really cramped.
You have to be fit for love.
This is just the beginning.
Can you hear how hes giving it to her? - He knows what he wants.
Whats up Foo-Pan. Isnt she good? - Help me.
Hold her back.
This is my marriage. Get lost.
Yeah, thats fun!
Ah, she stole my manlyhood.
Wheres my man?
Partying alone is boring.
Now lets go to bed my hero. - No I cant stand anymore.
And now my favourite position.
Who can do one can also do other things.
My brother is here. This is my brother Ko-Pau.
Where are the others?
Still at their buyers. - No, Im already here.
If Id knew you were so slow I would have partyed a it longer with my fatso.
Brenda, this is my brother Ko-Pau. - A real guy finally.
How did you loose the little one? - I made him still smaller.
He wasnt a bad guy, but a bit obtrusive...
...so I threw him through the wall.
She was sold to Li-Chung. - The bandits know about my old hut.
Hide in the abandoned village, south of the city.
Wait for me there. - Lets go.
To-Pau, what about my sister? - Don't worry I'll bring her back.
Come Karin. Hurry up!
Don't fear. Nothing will happen to you. I just like seeing girls get undressed this way.
What do you want here? Get lost!
Stop. Not a step further.
Stop!
Let her go free right now! - Kill him!
What do you want from me?
Tell them to let her go! - But shes mine. Ivve bought her.
Here, Ill buy her back. Will you let her go now?
Thats fine by me, let her go.
Stop them. Don't let them escape.
Give her back to me or I will get you killed.
Cha-Che. Ling Chung and the others are outside. They want their money back.
This virgin is a devil. Look what she did to me.
She threw me from a bridge. My legs are broken.
She ruined my honeymoon with her attitude.
She stole my nice teeth.
I will punish them for all they did to you.
I let them skin alive.
Ju-Lao? - Yes sir. - Search them and bring them back. Right now!
Youre awake?
I cant sleep.
Why not?
I was thinking.
About what?
About you.
You saved my life twice, in the last possible moment.
This was my duty.
But you risked your life for me.
I also wanted to tell you something else. - Yes.
Ive fallen in love with you. Back then in Tiaos house.
Tell them to come as soon as possible.
Tiaos men will probably find us soon.
I gonna hurry
Avoid the bigger streets. They surely will be watched.
I keep an eye on them. I also try finding a boat...
to bring you back to england.
Ill be back in three days.
Use the time to train. Nobody else but yourself can help you defend Tiaos men.
Lets try this first lesson again.
Watch my speed. Attention.
Good!
Jump!
Great - and again!
Up!
You have to hit the red marks exactly.
Ready. Attention.
1- 2- 3- 4 FIVE!
And position!
Line!
Triangle!
Jump!
KILL!
If this is gonna go on I gonna get flat feet.
Its important. Go on!
Get Him!
Let him hit first, so I can finish him.
And now from the back.
Now over to me.
Finally something between my legs.
Men are so weak nowadays.
So and now let this poor boy go. He needs a bath to get up again.
I only hope he is able to swim or else he will kiss the ground.
You wanna eat something? - Yes, fried noodles and a cup of tea.
Coming.
Hey, is she the one? - Yes.
Just bring her the poisioned tea.
Here you go. Your tea.
Many thanks. Good bye.
If the water would be cleaner I would swim back to england.
The bandits. Lets pretend we havnt seen them yet.
Should we eat them up? - Yeah!
Look at this, five feals at the water hole.
We should show them our spores.
Hurry! - The big one is yours.
No, shes mine! - We could roll a dice about it.
Put away your knifes before you cut yourselves.
Stay away guys, or we cut something else.
Look, how she trembles.
Lay down your weapons or we kill ourself.
Stop this. Theres no need to be scared.
Okay guys, drop the swords. Lets go.
Just do like youre embracing them.
Hey you shouldnt kiss them but catch them.
Lets help them. Come on now its our turn.
Hey, they are dead!
Come on. Skin him alive.
Come and get some.
Ready?
Jump!
Kill!
Now I got you trapped.
If you surrender you and the girls will stay alive.
If not Ill cut you to little pieces.
I hope Kome-Me and Paos friends will arrive soon.
Those guys are totally drunk. Im scared...
...they gonna come to us.
You will drown in your own tears someday.
They feel like great heroes. I would kill them barehanded...
.. if not for these ropes.
Kome-Me will be back soon. I think they are real close right now.
Now lets get them. - This is gonna be a feast.
Leave me alone you stinking dwarf. Piss off.
Look at those legs.
Gimme the torch, I gonna heat her up.
Show her which side one's bread is buttered on.
Let the girls go cowardly dogs.
Did he say something?
Just ask him. - Speak more clearly if you have to say something.
Piss of you pig. You smell from your throat.
Hands off. Leave me alone.
Hes an orphan. Just give him your breasts.
Leave the gecko out of this. Or the WWF will sue me.
Shes coming with me into the house.
Yeah, thats nice and will relax your muscles.
Brother!
Its about time. - She caught me.
Are our friends also here? - Theyll arive in a few hours.
Karin was brought to Tao. - We have to get her out.
Hurry up, Kome-Me.
Hey Guys. Now I gonna get serious.
Come here you...
Anyone needs a light? - Im a non-smoker.
Catch this!
Catch me.
You catch me.
Kome-Me, I don't know how to thank you.
You saved all of us. You helped us.
I wish you a good trip back. - Thank you, Kome-Me.
Farewell. - Good bye.
Bye little one. - Goobye - Many thanks for all.
...and so on:)
Donna, come aboard. - Farewell, Donna.
Ko-Pao!
Donna, come back. Where do you wanna go?
Ko-Pao!
Karin, I m not coming. I'll stay here
Brenda, look at the captain.
This is a real guy.
Ease off the sheets.
At last something tasty to nibble on.
subs for cinemageddon by dia Daedia@ish. de